I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t struggle with perfectionism and the need to please everyone around me, before myself. I’m constantly hard on myself which I feel leads to my anxiety, lack of focus, and ability to stop and just live in the moment whatever that may be. I had a boyfriend one time tell me I was “too predictable.” Wait thats not a good thing? I often say yes to everything and everyone and then found (still find) myself so overwhelmed, irritated, and resentful that everyone else got taken care of but my needs….hence the reason I’m on this Self Love Reset. I needed it.
I never really thought it was a huge problem until I stopped enjoying my children. With my depression rising and my anxiety at an all time high this book popped up in my amazon cart. I don’t remember the last time I read a book this fast. Pretty much anytime I had an opportunity to curl up in a cozy blanket and read, I did. I threw myself into every single page hoping this book could ‘fix’ me. Like any other personal development book, I knew I couldn’t be fixed if I didn’t do the work that went with it, but this was a great kick in the pants that I desperately needed and led me to this month of self discovery.
For as long as I could remember I had let the world tell me how to live. I pushed things away that I really wanted to pursue because of what other people would think, I didn’t have time, they were stupid ideas. I let others needs and opinions take up my space. I went to others for opinions, instead of sitting in silence and solitude through prayer and meditation. I let other people choose the season I was in, rather than create it myself.
No more. Shauna Niequist so eloquently writes this book to help you discover relationships that your missing out on (my kids), the stress your self imposing on your life (busy schedules, jobs that don’t purposely fulfill you), and the purpose that for some reason as women we constantly question who we are, our calling, find our voice, the “must by nice” syndrome we often feel looking at others. We are constantly twisting our selves in tight little knots wearing cute Lululemon yoga pants, desperately trying to find our place, and at the end of it all we are exhausted, resentful, and lacking real passion in our lives.
Shauna’s relationship with God through out the entire book was amazing to read. As someone who grew up in the church, its not often talked about that this relationship at times can be a rocky one. I’ve experienced it. I’ve felt ashamed for it. But she talks about that no matter what we do, how we pray, how little we feel our soul is worth (its not by the way!) -God still loves us. Mind-blowing right? To have that unconditional love! How lucky are we? That no matter what each soul is worthy of God’s unconditional love.
I read a lot of personal development books but THIS one made the biggest impact on me that a book has made in a while. I have canceled most after school activities for my kids (they would rather go for popsicles and play at the park), I’ve signed myself up for drop in yoga for the summer (because it makes me feel good), I’ve taken a little step back from my work (because family wise it wasn’t serving me in a positive way), I canceled most of our camps because they don’t like going and I just want to embrace every moment with these two amazing creatures this summer. I want it to be the summer they remember forever, not because we went on cool trips or to the beach but because we snuggled on the couch with no technology and watched a movie and ate super buttery popcorn.
This book made me stop and really think about what my passion in life is and how I can create it to not only serve me and my family in the best way possible but also others.
I want to be completely PRESENT in my life, enjoy it and quit focusing on being perfect so that everyone else is happy. I want to enjoy my kids and family when we are together and work on my business and building my purpose when we are not.
If you haven’t read this book and are struggling with the same things as me I highlrecommend ordering this book.
For other books that I’m completely obsessed click HERE