If you are reading my blog you know that I’ve recently become aware of my struggles with pregnancy depression/blues and anxiety and really honing in my life on making daily changes to calm myself from the cyclone feeling of life. I’m calling it my self love reset on life and focusing this entire month of May on it. Clearing myself of little things that don’t serve me and emersing myself in anything positive or anything that peaks my curiosity.

Second step…putting the pause on reality tv. You guys I’m ashamed to admit my love for ALL the Real Housewives of whatever-city-it-is series. NYC just started and I’ll admit thats my jam. I love it. I get a kick out of watching their lavish lifestyles and watching them bicker. It gives me a giggle most days, until one night last week it just didn’t anymore. It literally made me sick to my stomach.

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Usually I save these for when my husband is gone and then binge watch all the recordings, skipping the commercials before he totally catches me vegging out on them…but this night he happened to be home when it was on. Half on his phone and half watching over me, he said, “These ladies are ridiculous.” WTH. I looked closer and realized not only was he right he was straight up being kind to them. Here I was curled up on a Wednesday night watching women who are old enough to be my mother (most of them) yelling and screaming at each other for some reason that I don’t even know why. It was gross.

Obviously we all know half the crap on these shows are fake, but in our minds are we turning this into reality??? Is this how we are supposed to act or see other women? Are relationships with other women SUPPOSED to involve drama? I truly don’t think so but one thing I have struggled with each pregnancy is the feeling of being left out. I never seem to be that girl that gets to pose with her best friend in pictures whose also pregnant (you know those cute pics) and this pregnancy is no different. In fact I would say its the hardest one yet in this sense. Not only are none of my friends pregnant but most them are WAY done having kids. Of course they are all supportive and so helpful, but that disconnect of me going through a completely different phase of my life is 100% there. Make no mistake, I am surrounded by the most amazing community of women. I couldn’t be more blessed to have the support system I have in my life – I’m seriously the luckiest. BUT by watching  and falling victim to these horrible reality shows I was missing these moments that my amazing community was giving to me. I totally vibe off a group of amazing, independent, it-takes-a-village group of women and these reality ladies are not it. Even worse they were starting to effect my amazing vibe with my awesome ladies.

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So it’s time to give it up, if it doesn’t serve me in a positive way – I’m out. My focus is less TV and more positive books and magazines <3 TV will be wisely picked and loaded with documentaries on health, food, inspirational and educational subjects that will lift me higher and teach me, not bring me down to a state of bleep bleep bleeps. In a world filled with women clawing to get to the top, the reality of it is if we all supported each other and lifted each other up rather than put on our judgmental hats we would probably really rule the world just like Beyonce says.

This blog isn’t (and never will be) a judgement zone if you watch these shows or even if you want to keep watching these shows, Girl go for it! This isn’t me saying I’m “too good” to watch these shows. This is my story and experience that these shows aren’t putting me in a good place and instead put me deeper in the rabbit hole of having the blues and feelings of anxiety. Maybe the Real Housewives series isn’t your struggle…Maybe your looking for love and addicted to the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. Take a moment and make sure whatever your using as TV time is serving you in a positive way. If not as hard as it may be cancel your recordings and move on. We deserve better.

If your interested in following my journey more closely follow my stories on IG at @mrstapper or search #selflovereset to see what I’m doing! Interested in joining me?! I’d love to see the changes your making so use the #selflovereset to share your journey too so I can see.