#MomCrush

I’ve decided since this month is Mother’s Day to dedicate the entire month on this blog to mom’s that inspire me.

What better way to start than with my mom. She can tell you about herself below in her interview but I can also introduce her in a way I’m not sure she would describe herself.

She’s taught me to always be a lady, but never let the world walk all over you. That no matter what your age is you can still decide to do something magical and to be whoever you want be. She has faith and inner strength like no one I know and she fiercely loves her grandkids. She can often be found pumping gas on a Tuesday in a tutu. When she starts laughing (probably something totally ridiculous and stupid like people who are afraid of llamas – inside joke) no matter how crazy it is you find yourself laughing till you cry along with her. Her eyes are crystal blue and I see a little of her in each of my kids. The legacy she is leaving is so much bigger than I think she actually sees sometimes. Some day at her funeral when the thousands of people who knew and loved her are there I will tell the story of how she jumped in the pool fully clothed with perfect hair and make up (duh she took off her fabulous shoes) to save my French bulldog from drowning. She does love dogs.

What better way to start this amazing month than to showcase the one who made me. She’s fabulous and I can’t wait to share her with y’all. Here’s my momma <3

As a seasoned mom, with kids grown and gone, what is one thing you would tell a new mom about making sure she takes care of herself? (Physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually)?

You simply MUST take care of yourself or you are absolutely no good to anyone else. Period. I also cannot stress how important it is to pursue your dreams. Your  kids will grow up and leave you and never look back. Empty nest syndrome is a REAL thing girls and if I hadn’t had hobbies, dreams and passions of my own I’d have gone looney-tunes.

What is your favorite way to be a ‘Selfish Mom’?

I always had a few interests that I pursued that were just for me. I’m a pageant girl, so I competed here and there. I also would go to a movie while you kids were in school.

(EDIT: Daughter coming in here to add – clothes. This woman has the most amazing closet, shoes and jewelry)

What are your biggest passions?

WRITING!! I love putting my thoughts into words. I love acting and wish I’d pursued it. But I’m most passionate about breaking stereotypes about aging. Scratch that- what I’m REALLY most passionate about is my grandchildren. To all you young girls who think you love your children? Honey- it’s NOTHING compared to what you’re going to feel for your grandchildren! Pinky swear!

What or who inspires you? And Why?

My granddaughter Sophia! She changed me and brought happiness and joy back to my life. She is confident and sweet, finds good in everything and everyone and has the purest, angel heart I’ve EVER seen. I cry when I think of how much I love her.

What is your favorite Part about being a mother?  

Being a GRANDmother.

What has been your least favorite/or hardest part of motherhood?

My least favorite about being a mother? That once I became one that my whole world turned upside down. For the rest of my life I knew I’d never fully concentrate on anything again. That I’d never again get a good nights sleep.  Everything in your life, mind and heart centers around those babies/ even when they’re grown up and running ‘The Selfish Mom Project.’ You just never stop thinking about them and worrying. Never. Your life is never yours again. 

Give us the scoop on your next project!

I’m off to the Ms Senior United States Pageant as Ms Senior Texas and a coffee table book celebrating Texas women- and LOVING and spoiling my grandkids.

How cute is she?! For those of you that didn’t know my wonderful Momma has already written TWO books!

False Vicitim – Actually based on a true story that happened to our family many years ago. You can buy HERE.

Hillbilly Debutatunte Cafe – LOVE this book! You can buy HERE.

Do you know an amazing mom that inspires you? I would love to meet her!

xoxo,

(This post may contain affiliate links in which I make a tiny portion on. You are not charged anything extra. Thank you for supporting me and my wonderful blog.)

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Hello World

I’ve had lots of new followers and new mommas added to the Selfish Mom Project on Facebook (if your a momma whose not in there get yo self in there right meow), and I have a huge project that I’m (hoping – fingers crossed) to launch at the end of June, that I wanted to come back in here and really start dedicating my time and telling you all who I am.

Before I’m anything else I’m Rachael Tapper. What you get with me is the Highlight REAL not the Highlight REEL. You can usually find me in yoga pants and hair loaded with dry shampoo.

After that, I’m a mom to three crazy little humans who I equally adore and equally they drive me insane. I’m married for eleven long, but glorious years to a man that has never required me to be anyone but myself as weird as that person sometimes is.

I recently became a yoga instructor at my favorite little studio in east Dallas, We Yogis -Lakewood. Shameless plug here; Come see me every Sunday at 2:30pm!

I’m a writer for a local magazine with a monthly Selfish Mom Project column. I LOVE TO WRITE.

I’m the creator and entrepreneur behind the Selfish Mom Project (more on this later).

I’m a lifestyle & wellness coach for moms all over the place looking for that spark that maybe used to be there but since motherhood showed up has gone missing. Head over to the ‘Let’s work Together’ tab to find out how to work with me.

I’m a believer that Self Care is gold, and faith is often what gets me through the day.

It’s never too late to start over, so here I am. Sharing who I am. Can’t wait to meet so many of you or working with you in the coming months!

Xoxo

How Yoga Changed the way I was a Mom

If you would have told me three years ago I’d be finishing a 200 hour yoga teacher training class I would have laughed in your face.

But as it happens the divine stepped in and changed the course of my life forever with a prenatal yoga class.

Motherhood can make your ego flare. It’s the cycle of judgment between other moms. Our egos puff up and we walk around like peacocks. Yoga is strong about leaving the ego at the door. When I started yoga my ego was strong and negative and in a desperate attempt to hide it and easing my growing back pain I walked into a yoga class.

I found it hard at first to check the ego. In class I found myself looking around, what were they doing. Am I better? Oh crap I’m the worst in the class aren’t I? The teacher is probably wonder what I’m doing here. Why doesn’t my teacher tell me I’ve gotten better, I was amazing today….

My manic yoga practice was a mirror of my precondition notions of life and the lies my overactive ego was feeding not only me but especially about motherhood.

“Your not a good enough mother.”

“No one likes you.”

“Try harder, it’s not Perfect.”

I was living the ego based lie of my life that I wasn’t worthy of being there because I wasn’t good enough. Whoa. Did I just solve years of trauma in a single yoga class?

I started going to class more and looking up less….I started focusing on my alignment and less on what others in my class were doing. Translate to motherhood and I quit giving a crap with how others thought I did things and instead I focused on my alignment as a mother and how to best serve my kids and my family.

I learned the power of breath and I watch my reaction to my sometimes naughty trio go from brass and negative to calm and meditative. I watched as my ego started checking it self more. Not just at the yoga studio door, but as I walked into school to pick up my children, as my kid lost their minds at the grocery store or even better when seeing someone else’s kid lose theirs. I started aligning my practice on the mat with my life off the mat. Doing my best to leave judgement and ego at the door.

A very special woman recently came into my life as a mentor and she asked me why I loved yoga. My response, ‘yoga allowed me to be present. While practicing yoga nothing matters that is not in the realm of my mat. My focus is truly this mat and myself. Selfish mom moment at its best am I right?

Where my kids once said mom are you going to work out they now begged me to go to yoga to see their yoga friends. We practiced tree pose and headstands at home and began dancing in the kitchen while we cooked dinner, where before I had found myself in a frenzie and state of constant overwhelm. I began to see my ego being checked more and more and  in places I had never noticed it was in the first place. I began watching my role as a mother shift in a direction, though my ego isn’t fully gone, it has shifted and that place where I once looked all over full of self judging and judging others and feeling a need for attention I now came to with eyes closed, ego at the door, and a need to focus on nothing but my mat.

Yoga taught me about the ego. It has and continues to teach me self love, wisdom, strength and not just in my asana (or poses)…It taught me about strength in myself as a mother, showed me how my ego was showing up to my family. It’s given me breakthroughs I never thought possible and allowed me the opportunity to break through emotions on my mat, learn from them, and to take those meditative lessons off the mat.

Once the mother saying she could never do yoga because of her extreme fear is teaching this wonderful gift to others at a studio.

Come experience my passion for yoga every Sunday at 2:30pm at We Yogis Lakewood or visit www.CorporateFlowDallas.com to schedule a class on your own time.

Xoxo 💋

Not Everyone Is Going to Like You

As any human we want to be liked. I don’t care how different and weird you are or aim to be everyone wants to be liked by someone. The problem with this is two things. One, at what capacity are you willing to go too to be accepted and liked by others? In doing so are you jeopardize your true self and your morals? And two, its just not possible! Even the nicest people in the world have someone that doesn’t like them and probably because they are too nice!

I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as parents is not teaching this to our kids. When someone is mean to one of our kids we are quick to defend the behavior or our child and quick to dismiss the others. The other kids must be bad or something’s wrong with that kid if they don’t like you we tell them…but in reality NOTHING is probably wrong with the other child they simply don’t like your kid. That’s okay. We shouldn’t be teaching that you have to LIKE another person and be best friends with them we should teach about the proper behavior and etiquette to have toward another human ESPECIALLY if you don’t like them. Teaching the process of what its like to have your feelings hurt when someone doesn’t like you and how to release it and just do you, fully embracing the package you have to offer the world.

When my oldest started kindergarten there was a mother I thought was so fun and cool and for years we were after school playground friends. We all gathered and talked and laughed after school told stories, I even had her over a few times – loved her! Super fun, cool chick. Until one day she acted like I was no longer there. Like I was an invisible ghost, literally blocking me out of the circle. I felt crushed, straight off a new baby and now suddenly shunned from someone I thought was genuinely my good friends and with out any word of if I had done something to her. For months I let it bother me, I would often even get a rise just inserting myself more in conversations she was in because I could see her squirm. I’d tell my husband about it and of course his response was not super PG13 so I’ll leave it out, lol but basically,

“Why do you care?”

WHY DID I CARE? Sit on that thought for a moment…If someone doesn’t like you why do you really care? Maybe that’s a journal prompt for you. I sat with the statement for a long time and honestly realized I didn’t care. Here I was wasting energy and emotion on a person that I didn’t genuinely care about.

When our daughter came home recently saying that several girls called her ugly I found it a perfect opportunity to teach her how to feel, recognize, release and pray which is my process for how to get over a friendship gone sour or feeling the loss and downright yucky feeling when someone doesn’t like you.

1. Feel – You are allowed to feel any emotion you want to feel. As a society we don’t encourage emotion as much as we should. We burry them deep deep down were they take root making our energy off and our spirit low. My theory is this is why we have so much physical violence in the world…from telling others to hide our emotions instead of truly feeling them. When charges of emotions come up, don’t push them away, let them release when they come up (through crying or sadness) so they don’t become pent up physical issues later holding you back from experiences that require emotion.

2. Recognize – Recognize that reason could actually have nothing to do with you. Yes I realize this sounds confusing. How can it not be about me when the person doesn’t like me? Every time Sophia comes home saying someone makes fun of how little she is or in this case was calling her ugly I load her up with questions…Are you a baby because you are smaller? No. Do you think your ugly? No I don’t think I’m ugly. Great, then we can recognize that these statements are simply the insecurities of others and no longer involve us. We never fully know what is happening in the life and mind of another person, recognize fully that just because someone doesn’t like you it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad about you and it certainly doesn’t define you.

3. Release, Release, Release…I often find this is the part of the process that can be the hardest and you might want to pull in some guidance on this one. A couple ways I like to release people that not longer serve me is by writing them an unsent letter. Journaling your way through pretty much anything can be beyond therapeutic and it never has to be shared. Cord Cutting Meditation is amazing for the person who needs a more visual approach to releasing a thought or person from there mind.

4. Pray – Just by feeling, recognizing and releasing doesn’t mean that the hurt or need of acceptance will disappear. Unfortunately. I find the process gets easier after thanking the emotion for the rooted work that needed to be done and then praying to God for guidance, love and lots of patience. I also pray for the other person.

It’s hard and it sucks, but I think by teaching our kids, oh especially our girls, how to go through this process we could end so much gossip, depression, competitiveness, maybe even the intense need to fit in and ‘be cool’ and do things just for someone to like you. Embracing your true authentic self is what the world needs more of, even if that means someone isn’t going to like you.

XOXO,