In a world of go go go – I’ve decided to stop and choose something different.

In a world of packed weekends filled with sports, commitments that sometimes do not serve us as a family of five, I choose to not feel bad about saying no.

If you follow me on IG (@selfishmomproject) you’ll through my stories of my latest reads. I recently finished an amazing book by Erin Loechner, called Chasing Slow. As a mother whose biggest struggle is overwhelm and anxiety I beg of you to read this book. Erin’s story of motherhood is told beautifully and beyond relatable. One of those…I must stay up all night and read this book because its so good I can’t put it down.

The book really started my thinking on slowing down my life and finding a new perspective. I find as a family when we get to busy and see less of each other we don’t work as a unit as well. When we slow things down…we work so much better. Less raised voices, less crying, less resentment.

I’m choosing my slow route wisely, not jumping all in but choosing a couple ways to make life a little slower, more fun, less stressful.

Kitchen Dance Parties.

Yes I know that sound like it could get crazy and totally the opposite of slow.

It does get crazy, but the good kind where I see my kids laugh and I laugh as they show me their dance moves and we teach them about important music such as Queen, Tom Petty and 90’s pop, you know the essentials. These memories are proving to be my favorites. Last Mother’s Day my kid’s got me a speaker so I could play music, I never realized it would come in handy this much! Dance parties are the new norm and I am loving every bit of it.

No Phone Zone

I’m working on this. I’m in hustle mode with my business. I want a lot out of it and this blog but I find that if I don’t unplug and move away from the phone I’m easily burnt out and resentful. I want this to be an amazing space so I’m making an effort put my phone away from 4-8pm and just focus on family time. If its not taking pics of my kids or picking our dance party music its away.


You all know how much this momma loves her some yoga. I’m slightly obsessed. I used to be a fast paced cardio, occasional weightlifter, looking for fast results in a short time frame. But as life happens so does apparently the pace of my workouts. I’ve begin to understand the slow but steady pace of the yoga body. The mental game that goes with it, the breakthroughs and the quiet it creates inside of me. Getting quiet inside is hard for me and yoga creates that space for me.

Have More Sex

I know right? This is another one that your like what? But really (insert all the heart eyes) is working for us right now. Lots of sex equals us serving the other in our best forms. Sex is a physical aspect most (if not all adults) can not live without. We yearn for connection and touch and sex can fill both of these for us. Win win. After a night of sex we tend to touch our spouse more, move closer, be respectful, all leading to endorphins raging to get out meaning a big ass smile all over your face the next day. So basically just do it more.


We went from super sexy to like totally not sexy, so hurry up and change gears here with me. {Waiting….} Okay, decluttering to this Virgo mom is pretty much the next best thing to sex. I get a high from knowing everything even for just a moment has a place in the house. Does that mean the dinning room table is cleared, um no but my daunting closet under the stairs looks like it could be in a freaking museum and I could pee my pants from excitement about that alone. Pick a spot in your house that bugs you and then make the commitment to commit to it.

Find Gratitude

Yes I’m talking again about Gratitude because it truly is that IMPORTANT. I have plenty of bad days, stressful moments, and points of overwhelm, but a stop, drop, gratitude has never hurt me in the least and I find after a sense of calm and appreciation for everything in my life. It allows me to slow down and really take a look at the bigger picture rather go go go and miss all the moments.

Say NO

If it doesn’t serve you or your family let it go and say no. Especially hard this time of year. With three kids in totally different ages, sports, friends, gatherings, I find we end up spreading ourselves very thin as parents which is totally not fun so I’ve started just saying no to late events we can’t all attend, things that are stressful for us, or more than one event.

So these are my ways to Chase Slow. I encourage each and every momma out there to please stop and make an effort to read this book and chase the slow lifestyle rather than feel proud of a jam packed calendar. To completely enjoy the moments instead of letting them pass by in a tailspin.