Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner Review & Life Evaluation

In a world of go go go – I’ve decided to stop and choose something different.

In a world of packed weekends filled with sports, commitments that sometimes do not serve us as a family of five, I choose to not feel bad about saying no.

If you follow me on IG (@selfishmomproject) you’ll through my stories of my latest reads. I recently finished an amazing book by Erin Loechner, called Chasing Slow. As a mother whose biggest struggle is overwhelm and anxiety I beg of you to read this book. Erin’s story of motherhood is told beautifully and beyond relatable. One of those…I must stay up all night and read this book because its so good I can’t put it down.

The book really started my thinking on slowing down my life and finding a new perspective. I find as a family when we get to busy and see less of each other we don’t work as a unit as well. When we slow things down…we work so much better. Less raised voices, less crying, less resentment.

I’m choosing my slow route wisely, not jumping all in but choosing a couple ways to make life a little slower, more fun, less stressful.

Kitchen Dance Parties.

Yes I know that sound like it could get crazy and totally the opposite of slow.

It does get crazy, but the good kind where I see my kids laugh and I laugh as they show me their dance moves and we teach them about important music such as Queen, Tom Petty and 90’s pop, you know the essentials. These memories are proving to be my favorites. Last Mother’s Day my kid’s got me a speaker so I could play music, I never realized it would come in handy this much! Dance parties are the new norm and I am loving every bit of it.

No Phone Zone

I’m working on this. I’m in hustle mode with my business. I want a lot out of it and this blog but I find that if I don’t unplug and move away from the phone I’m easily burnt out and resentful. I want this to be an amazing space so I’m making an effort put my phone away from 4-8pm and just focus on family time. If its not taking pics of my kids or picking our dance party music its away.

Yoga

You all know how much this momma loves her some yoga. I’m slightly obsessed. I used to be a fast paced cardio, occasional weightlifter, looking for fast results in a short time frame. But as life happens so does apparently the pace of my workouts. I’ve begin to understand the slow but steady pace of the yoga body. The mental game that goes with it, the breakthroughs and the quiet it creates inside of me. Getting quiet inside is hard for me and yoga creates that space for me.

Have More Sex

I know right? This is another one that your like what? But really (insert all the heart eyes) is working for us right now. Lots of sex equals us serving the other in our best forms. Sex is a physical aspect most (if not all adults) can not live without. We yearn for connection and touch and sex can fill both of these for us. Win win. After a night of sex we tend to touch our spouse more, move closer, be respectful, all leading to endorphins raging to get out meaning a big ass smile all over your face the next day. So basically just do it more.

Declutter

We went from super sexy to like totally not sexy, so hurry up and change gears here with me. {Waiting….} Okay, decluttering to this Virgo mom is pretty much the next best thing to sex. I get a high from knowing everything even for just a moment has a place in the house. Does that mean the dinning room table is cleared, um no but my daunting closet under the stairs looks like it could be in a freaking museum and I could pee my pants from excitement about that alone. Pick a spot in your house that bugs you and then make the commitment to commit to it.

Find Gratitude

Yes I’m talking again about Gratitude because it truly is that IMPORTANT. I have plenty of bad days, stressful moments, and points of overwhelm, but a stop, drop, gratitude has never hurt me in the least and I find after a sense of calm and appreciation for everything in my life. It allows me to slow down and really take a look at the bigger picture rather go go go and miss all the moments.

Say NO

If it doesn’t serve you or your family let it go and say no. Especially hard this time of year. With three kids in totally different ages, sports, friends, gatherings, I find we end up spreading ourselves very thin as parents which is totally not fun so I’ve started just saying no to late events we can’t all attend, things that are stressful for us, or more than one event.

So these are my ways to Chase Slow. I encourage each and every momma out there to please stop and make an effort to read this book and chase the slow lifestyle rather than feel proud of a jam packed calendar. To completely enjoy the moments instead of letting them pass by in a tailspin.

Xoxo

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GRATITUDE IN CHAOS.

Chaos. That’s the word I use to describe my current season.

If you follow me on social media you’ll see me posting about my second Selfish Mom Project daily. This go around the Selfish Mom Project is about a million times different than the first one I did. For starters I’ve got a better routine down. We aren’t struggling in the newborn stage and sleeping a tad better.

I’ve matured, I feel more legit most days and I’m focusing more on finding the special moments of life and slowing down rather than rushing everything to “get my selfish” time in.

Some days last year felt like a chore to post about my daily selfish rants and in what way I was selfish but this time around seems a bit easier more laid back and less stressful. I’ve found the fastest more effective way for me feel my best and take care of myself is by finding gratitude in everything or anything.

For two years I have journaled almost daily about gratitude. I find it crazy that the one thing I do daily I don’t talk about at all on social media or here. I have a million pictures of myself drinking coffee and all my cute coffee mugs, but how many of you knew that I have had a daily gratitude journal for two years? That must change. Because when we find gratitude even in the smallest of things, we find a new light that can help us shine, feel good, and somedays control the chaos.

It doesn’t have to be made complicated. I don’t need anymore complicated in my life and I really doubt you mommas out there do either am I right?

Find a notebook, a journal (Target always has them in the dollar bin section!) to get started. I do splurge on my journals because I love a pretty one. I just bought this one as a splurge at Kate Spade the other day and I can’t wait to start using it. I think for everyone finding gratitude is different. For me I need it first thing in the morning.

Coffee + Gratitude

Each page is dated and at the top I write “GRATITUDE FIVE” and list 5 things I’m grateful for. Somedays are easy. Some are hard, but everyday I know I’m starting my day with gratitude and for me that is an easy Selfish Mom Project move I can make happen daily.

Somedays being a mom is not my favorite, some days the chaos is so crazy that I’m not sure how I’m going to find my zen but the ability to open up a notebook and look back and see what I am grateful for now or in the past has been a huge blessing. Somedays, on the hard days, I need to be reminded how much I love and am grateful for those little heathen blessings that cause the chaos.

I hope each of you will make an effort to start your own gratitude journal.

And to show how grateful I am for all of you! I’ve decided to do my FIRST Selfish Mom Project GIVEAWAY! I will be picking two winners and gifting them an amazing Selfish Mom Project gift basket with my current obsessions and Selfish Mom Swag 🙂

Thank you always for reading. This blog is going to become my top priority because my goal is to reach the masses of moms and share my story and to help others.

XOXO

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How to be a Selfish Mom on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving day. Filled with Turkey, sides, stress, and family. All sounds great until your loaded up on all of them and can barely move, button your pants, and are super stressed am I right?

I’m right. I know I’m right because I spent many of years attempting to make the ‘perfect’ holiday and this year I’m just done. I have RELEASED the pressure. With most of our immediate family not local we made a deal this year to not take on more than we can handle. I bought a small seven pound turkey, a small ham, I’m making only sides our family will eat — and that’s it. Other years I found myself overwhelmed, so I decided this year to take out everything that would stress me and just do it my own way…

The Selfish Mom Way 🙂 So how do you have a Selfish Mom Thanksgiving? Here are some of my fav tips!

1. Paper Plates

Lord have mercy if my mother reads this because she would loose her mind on me but I’m sorry paper plates…use them. The dishes are going to pile up mommas. People are going to remember the heart and soul put into the food not the plate it was put on. Do yourself a favor, make your life a little bit easier and buy some paper plates. Actually I give you permission to buy them in bulk (there will be leftovers!). I would much rather eat my meal, watch the game, take my kids on a bike ride, roll around in the grass than worry about being resentful doing dishes all day/night. My time with my kids is precious and these are the moments they will remember at the age they are at not the plate I serve their food on. I honestly can not tell you one single plate I have eaten on in my life, but I do remember the food and the memories.

2. Stop trying to make it perfect

Chaos is beautiful. Embrace every single bit of it. My best memories growing up is a house full of cousins and chaos and randomness. Most days in my house are full of chaos so why would I expect this day to be any different. Yet still for some reason we do. Sure I could loose sleep over the fact that my kids still can’t master a meal time using silverware to eat or I could smile as I watch their chunking little fingers pick at the thanksgiving feast (I’ll be lucky if they even eat it!) I refuse to force perfection when really the perfection is all in the chaos.

3. Do Find Gratitude

A day of Thanksgiving and a theme of gratitude. We often find ourselves professing our 30 days of gratitude only in November but I ask you to reconsider. Gratitude should be expressed everyday. Not just on this day or this month but everyday. I have a gratitude journal that I write in DAILY not just for a designated month where I post on social media so everyone can see.

4. Move your body

Okay maybe do this one early before your belly gets loaded with mimosas and turkey and gravy (green bean casserole in my case). MOVE IT. In Texas we usually get lucky to have the sun a shining and a cool breeze making it the perfect weather for a bike ride with my sweet kiddos. If that’s not the case where you are I’m posting a little turkey detox workout that is sure to make you not only sweat but also your your metabolism flowing which I’m sure you’ll thank me for later. 🙂

5. Sneak away

The day is done. Or maybe even better you have your parents, grandparents whoever visiting your house. Grab them tell them how thankful you are for them and how your are going to go upstairs and draw a bath. Now pour a glass of wine, find a bath bomb, put on a face mask, whatever makes you feel good, and slip away. You can feel bad about leaving the crew or you can come back to that crew feeling less stressed and ready to build some memories. I find the holidays can be stressful. I also have found that if you tell those around you I need 20 minutes (especially if your a mom) they are more than understanding and actually able to help you get those minutes to decompress from your day. It can never hurt to ask, right?

To all my readers, I hope your day is filled with gratitude, peace and love. I’m truly GRATEFUL for all of you.

Xoxo

I’M STARTING A BOOK CLUB!

I get asked almost daily what I’m reading. I’m a huge lover of books and love sharing the titles that mean the most to me that I’ve decided to start my first ever Selfish Mom Project (virtual) book club!

I’m a huge reader but not your normal reader. As a mom I don’t have days where I can just binge read (putting this on my list though to do one day!). So I’ve made the conscience decision over the years to only read books that make me feel good and a better person when I’m done reading them. No this is not just sitting in the help section area! I read all kinds of books but I make sure that if I’m reading them they are serving me in the best way possible.

Now I’m inviting your to join me on my journey through books!

Each month I will send a link and post on this super awesome blog the book we will be reading for the month (wanna just get the emails? Click HERE and they come straight to your inbox!) All that is required of you is to purchase the book from that link and make sure you are a member of the Selfish Mom Movement. In the Selfish Mom FB group I will post a link monthly where we will meet face to face as a group and discuss the book of the month.

Fun right? Can you read my excitement on this project?! I know life gets busy but I’m true believer that just fitting in ten minutes of reading a good book a day has been a huge impact on my day to day life in a positive way.

Xoxo