Making mom friends is one of the scariest parts of being a mom. Hopefully you are lucky and you and all your girlfriends made cute tiny little offspring at the same time. Maybe your like me and started really young when all your girlfriends were still dancing on tables and staying out all night while you were at home nursing around the clock. Or maybe you conquered your career first and decided to wait and now all your friends have kids that are starting school and your season of motherhood is completely different than theirs. Whatever it is, social interaction is key to not losing your mind and going crazy on both your kids and your spouse. You need a tribe(s).
I currently find myself in three different seasons of motherhood. I have a fourth grader, an kindergartener, and a one year old. Trying to find another mom who in the present moment that can relate to all of the seasons I am in is almost impossible but it’s a really great opportunity to expand my tribe of amazing Mom friends even more. Here are some of my top tips in the Art of Making Mom Friends and how I’ve been able to create several different tribes of amazing ladies.
Get Up and Get out
The struggle is real on how hard it is to shower, leave the house, and change out of your three day old yoga pants. It can be so much work just getting the kids out of the house BUT it is essential that you get out. There are a million places to meet Moms with kids of all ages. Find your local park, a mommy and me class, get involved at your child’s school, attend Mom’s night outs, whatever you can do to get out there and meet people. I promise you someone else out there hasn’t showered for days and they might have the scoop on the newest and best dry shampoo or a wine that doesn’t give you a hangover. As hard or daunting as it may seem you won’t make new friends watching reruns of Southern Charm all day.
Start a Conversation
Getting out of the house isn’t enough. You’ve got to take your wallflower self around and get to know others. I’ve met some of my closest friends at random places (like Target and Olivella’s) just by starting a random conversation. A good place to start is, “how old is your child?” The great thing is you don’t even have to ask for someone’s number anymore if you hit it off, just friend them on social media or take a look at the Peanut app – think Tinder for mom’s.
Don’t be fake. Don’t shy away from being your true raw, real self. Someone out there needs a friend like you. It’s easy (especially in Dallas) to get caught up in our bubble and care what others think. By doing this your only doing a disservice to yourself and any potential new friends you are making. No two moms are going to do things the same way. If some mom out there isn’t keen on the fact that you feed your kid goldfish from the floor, there’s another mom out there that will plop her kid next to yours and cheers you with a glass of red wine. By being authentic from the beginning your weeding out the relationships that aren’t going to serve you in most positive manner of making true, long lasting, authentic relationships.
Don’t Be Click-y
Don’t be a Regina George, no one really liked her. Make an effort to include everyone. Constantly allow your group to grow. The more the merrier. Even if they don’t wear pink on Wednesdays make them feel welcome. Also don’t seclude yourself to one group of friends. With three different aged kids I make a huge effort to make sure I’m always getting to know different kinds of people. I have fourth grade mom friends, church friends, soccer friends, cheer friends, kindergarten friends, preschool friends, yoga friends, friends who drink a lot of wine, friends who also have three kids and feel like they are going to lose their minds, friends who are older/younger than me…. I think you see the point right? The possibilities should be endless not minimal.
Make the Effort
Once you’ve got a social circle under your belt the final step is continue to make the effort with them. Life can get crazy, every mom knows this, but finding a tribe of Mommas who are going through the same tough season as you can keep your sanity. Do your best to make dates, playdates, text, phone, email whatever you have to do to build the relationship and harness your sanity.
Motherhood is full…full of tough times and amazing times. Finding a tribe (multiple tribes) is important and there are days it will be your means of survival and your sanity all wrapped into one. Do good, be a friend, make a friend, and if you see me anywhere and we don’t know each other, come chat – I’m always looking for more friends.