High fives for surviving two whole months with three kids! There were days I literally thought I wouldn’t make it. I cried some days. But this month was a turning point for us and I feel like we got out of our rut a bit and are starting to get into a routine.

I started training him (or maybe us) to sleep in his crib all night which allows me to sleep so much better. I finally at exactly two months, got my first big stretch of sleep – SIX WHOLE HOURS! It was magical.

The jealous and feelings of failing my big kids are also getting better. I make sure to take advantage of every minute alone I get with each kid. For Sophia that might be jamming out to Brittany Spears on the way to school and for Jay he likes to go play board games at Whole Foods. I’ve also started being a little selfish again (post coming soon on this!). Max and I have made it a mission to make it to the gym at least three days a week. I’m loving the opportunity to get sweaty with out interruptions and he’s loving the extra cuddles from the sweet girl Heather that works with the babies at the YMCA. Never thought I’d be back in the gym, but here I am and I’m actually really loving it!

Moving on to another journey I’m on…

The one thing I was excited about when pregnant was the opportunity to breastfeed another baby. I nursed my other two but not for any long period of time Sophia about 6 months and Jay 3 months. This time though I was determined to go ALL in and commit to a year!

Some days I’m not sure I can do that.

The pressure of watching my other friends be so committed to the entire process made me think I had to do this too. But I’ve decided to release the pressure of this and simply enjoy any experience I have left with breastfeeding. I’m absolutely putting no timeline on myself. Just thankful for any day I can do. Maybe I’ll nurse for a week more and maybe I’ll make it to that year. Who knows…I’m releasing the pressure of it all.

In the process I’ve been pumping my little heart out to build a stash to give him breastmilk for as long as I can and supplementing with formula as well.

Today I’m simply happy I’ve made it to the two month mark of breastfeeding. This is hard mommas. So hard. Some days I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished is nursing Max all day. And although that’s a huge accomplishment in itself I would be lying if I said there wasn’t more I wanted to do in my day. Like say fold the laundry. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love the convince of nursing. I love the connection I get with him. I love knowing that I have the magic gold that can calm my sweet boy when no one else can. I love the way he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, smiles and milk leaks out his sweet mouth. Just re-reading that makes me want to nurse him till he goes to kindergarten lol. Obviously I go back and forth. Like I said right now I have a decent relationship with nursing and I like pumping and I LOVE that he takes a bottle so well, even formula when we need it. Let’s me know that I don’t have to worry about leaving him for a night if I need too. Yes, grandma if you read this I’m almost ready for Max to have an over night.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope this inspires one person to nurse one more time or let’s another mom know it’s okay to quit if it’s not suiting you. It’s a frustrating process that I do believe to be worth it, however I don’t believe it should take away your sanity.

Xoxo

Rachael

(Let me end this post with saying- the ONLY important thing is a fed baby. Max nurses, drinks a bottle, and takes formula daily. The concoction of these three things has helped us double our sweet boys birth weight in two months and he is as happy as can be. Making sure your babies tummy is full is the most important thing.)

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