The Selfish Mom Project

Its so easy as mothers to at times feel resentful. We make sure everyone but ourselves is taken care of daily. We cook, clean, launder, taxi kids around, play a sex goddess to our spouses but at the end of the day our cup is often bone dry. For those of you ladies out there who work outside the home I can’t even imagine how dry your cup might seem somedays.

Any one else suffer from this or am I completely alone?

I find myself being resentful, being a martyr, feeling under appreciated at times. Its not my family to blame, honestly I love doing most of these things (except laundry) for them. I love that they need me. Being needed is my love language. I guess I just wish it wasn’t all the time. I wish that I demanded just a couple minutes for myself each day to fill my cup with something selfish.

So jokingly over drinks with another couple I said to my friend, “I’m starting a selfish mom movement.” Its amazing the ideas that can spark from a couple glasses of wine am I right?

<Insert> The Selfish Mom Project.

Ice Cream Party

I love a good project, especially one that focuses on my wellbeing. So what exactly am I talking about? After having Max I felt a little like all the ‘inside’ work I had done on myself the last couple year had vanished. Literally disappeared over night. I was so tired that putting two thoughts together wasn’t happening. Here was this sweet baby that needed me every second, again speaking my love language I gave in to him and everyone else in my household.  I woke up one day and found myself in three day old yoga pants, spit up in my hair, spoiled milk all over my skin and clothes, exhausted and well a husband who I’m sure was wondering where is wife went and why she cried all the time and big kids wondering where their fun loving mom was.

Determined to get my groove back, quit complaining and enjoy life more I decided to put myself in my own test group and see if being just a little selfish each day to do something I wanted to do would bring back my spark and make me a better mom and wife. The verdict is still out 🙂

On November 1st I will be starting a new 60 day journey filled with all the things I love. I so desperately love these little people and amazing husband God has blessed me with but I haven’t not been giving them the best version of myself lately. They deserve my best parts. I deserve to be my best self and feel good.

This isn’t going to be complicated things. It won’t cost tons of  money. I’ve compiled a list of 60 things I love to do. Some of them are free. Some aren’t. Some include my family and friends and some are just by myself. They are my favorite things.

This “project” will take me right up to the new year. Give me the opportunity to start completely refreshed.

I’m excited.

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I’ll share weekly updates for you all about what I’m learning. What works and what doesn’t. This could be a huge revelation for all moms or it could be a complete bust, lol. We shall see. My only goal is to end this year in a state of mind that makes my cup feel a little more full and potentially inspire just one momma to do just one thing for herself daily.

Thanks for reading <3 I hope this journey inspires us both.

xoxo

Rachael 

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Maximus 2 Month check In: Breastfeeding Journey

High fives for surviving two whole months with three kids! There were days I literally thought I wouldn’t make it. I cried some days. But this month was a turning point for us and I feel like we got out of our rut a bit and are starting to get into a routine.

I started training him (or maybe us) to sleep in his crib all night which allows me to sleep so much better. I finally at exactly two months, got my first big stretch of sleep – SIX WHOLE HOURS! It was magical.

The jealous and feelings of failing my big kids are also getting better. I make sure to take advantage of every minute alone I get with each kid. For Sophia that might be jamming out to Brittany Spears on the way to school and for Jay he likes to go play board games at Whole Foods. I’ve also started being a little selfish again (post coming soon on this!). Max and I have made it a mission to make it to the gym at least three days a week. I’m loving the opportunity to get sweaty with out interruptions and he’s loving the extra cuddles from the sweet girl Heather that works with the babies at the YMCA. Never thought I’d be back in the gym, but here I am and I’m actually really loving it!

Moving on to another journey I’m on…

The one thing I was excited about when pregnant was the opportunity to breastfeed another baby. I nursed my other two but not for any long period of time Sophia about 6 months and Jay 3 months. This time though I was determined to go ALL in and commit to a year!

Some days I’m not sure I can do that.

The pressure of watching my other friends be so committed to the entire process made me think I had to do this too. But I’ve decided to release the pressure of this and simply enjoy any experience I have left with breastfeeding. I’m absolutely putting no timeline on myself. Just thankful for any day I can do. Maybe I’ll nurse for a week more and maybe I’ll make it to that year. Who knows…I’m releasing the pressure of it all.

In the process I’ve been pumping my little heart out to build a stash to give him breastmilk for as long as I can and supplementing with formula as well.

Today I’m simply happy I’ve made it to the two month mark of breastfeeding. This is hard mommas. So hard. Some days I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished is nursing Max all day. And although that’s a huge accomplishment in itself I would be lying if I said there wasn’t more I wanted to do in my day. Like say fold the laundry. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love the convince of nursing. I love the connection I get with him. I love knowing that I have the magic gold that can calm my sweet boy when no one else can. I love the way he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, smiles and milk leaks out his sweet mouth. Just re-reading that makes me want to nurse him till he goes to kindergarten lol. Obviously I go back and forth. Like I said right now I have a decent relationship with nursing and I like pumping and I LOVE that he takes a bottle so well, even formula when we need it. Let’s me know that I don’t have to worry about leaving him for a night if I need too. Yes, grandma if you read this I’m almost ready for Max to have an over night.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope this inspires one person to nurse one more time or let’s another mom know it’s okay to quit if it’s not suiting you. It’s a frustrating process that I do believe to be worth it, however I don’t believe it should take away your sanity.

Xoxo

Rachael

(Let me end this post with saying- the ONLY important thing is a fed baby. Max nurses, drinks a bottle, and takes formula daily. The concoction of these three things has helped us double our sweet boys birth weight in two months and he is as happy as can be. Making sure your babies tummy is full is the most important thing.)

How I’m Learning to Cook

Let me start off this post by I could possibly be the worlds worst cook.

With a new baby I found us riding lots of take out food, going out to eat, making kids pasta and ramen noodles every night, or even worse me just not eating because the energy to come up with something new and a new baby was utterly exhausting. Let’s not even talk about the terror of taking three kids to the grocery store. Most trips I went in with a list only realizing I had nothing to actually cook or pack in lunches for the week. Frustrated and tired of the same old stuff I remember a friend on Facebook posting about a meal plan app she used for her family of seven and even better it had grocery list associated with it.

Consider me sold. Overwhelmed new mom of three I would do anything to make something easier and eat good food along with it.

I purchased the app called eMeals and I have yet to be disappointed! I usually choose three to four meals a week from different menu options. So far our favorite option is Quick and Healthy. All meals including cooking and prep are under 30 minutes and under 500 calories. We have tried new foods each night. I’ve felt a little fancy even cooking and they aren’t hard or complicated (two things I just don’t have time for these days. Most nights I’ve been able to cook these meals while baby wearing.

Even better (and more convenient) they can automatically link their grocery lists to instacart 🙌🏼 Can I get an amen! I didn’t even have to leave my dang house, groceries delivered to my door and I cooked my family delicious foods that were healthy and didn’t take me spending a ton of time in the kitchen missing precious moments from my family.

Some of my creations.

Now I can cook better, next goal is to learn to plate like a real chef

So what is EMeals?!

eMeals is the online meal planning solution. They offer a wide variety of lifestyle meal plans including Clean Eating, Paleo, Low Fat, Low Carb, Natural & Organic, Portion Control, Gluten Free, Classic, and Vegetarian meal plans. Like I said one of our favorites is the Quick & Healthy! Users can choose from 12-month subscription term at $58, 6-month subscription term at $35, or 3-month subscription term at $21. There is also even an option to add a lunch plan for an additional $4/month!

Why you should try it

Life should not be hard. Creating in the kitchen should be exciting and fun and not cause fires. Kids should try new foods and you deserve to feel fancy sometimes. If your interested in giving it a test CLICK HERE, and let me know your favorite recipe you cook up!

xoxo, 

Rachael 

(This is an affiliate post…Please note that each purchase I will receive a small commission. I never work with a company that I don’t truly truly believe will make a difference in all Mom’s lives!)